For Corey

I look at myself in the mirror
and I think of you
Its that close to my heart, this song of you and I

Your brother was your side-kick
and probably still is
but you and I were just as thick
for all that what was ours
didnt resemble yours and his

While you might have left me
I havent been alone
Theres parts of you with me
these pieces are in my pockets,
weighty, like stones.

You showed me how to own
what I liked, what I was
To say it out loud in uncompromising tones
To tell people, not when they asked
but just because

Its because of you
I love over sized jackets
that smell like smoke
and tucking my hands
deep into their pockets
finding eight ball keys, lighters,
Swisher Sweet wrappers
and receipts
for food you bought
for you and me

Youre why I like parks
Just sitting in my car
listening sometimes to the radio,
others giving voice to my own thoughts
just to hear how they
bounce off the windshield

Youre why I like fields
driving through them and
imagining myself as safe
and anonymous as a tall
piece of grass, only as lost as I want to be

Youre why I get tattoos
on my birthday
Using the occasion to
poke holes and flood myself
with ink
Pictures that yell out what
this heart is loud enough
for evne the most blind and
deaf to purposefully misunderstand

So, when Im asked
why months of your silence
hasnt made me stop
waiting for you, I laugh
in their questioning faces
because I could never hate you
without first hating myself

I know you never had much use for my words
going about your deeds silent and uncompromising
but please, hear me now
When I said I couldnt live without you
I didnt mean that your leaving would bring me death
but that until my last day comes
you will always be with me
For Corey by Dakota Farley